Wednesday, June 17, 2009

North Korean Enhanced Interrogation Techniques Successful!

The news out of the Hermit Kingdom (and there is blessed little of that) is that notorious international terrorists, Laura Ling and Euna Lee, confessed to their crimes.

The state-run (as in actually state run, not like we have in the United States, where we just call it state run when it reports news we don't want to hear) Korea Central News Agency reported that: "During their trial, they admitted what they did was a criminal act inspired by political motives of isolating and stifling our republic by defiling our human rights situation through fabricated video footage."

It is clear that the Democratic People's Republic of Korea uses only the latest in enhanced interrogation techniques, which are a popular export of her patron state, the People's Republic of China. Most recently, these techniques, culled from the experiences of American POW's who were captured by China during the Korean War, were used to famous effect by the United States of America, under the direction of former Vice President Dick Cheney, on such reputed terrorists as Khalid Sheik Mohammed.*

As is obvious, these techniques, which certainly included stress positions, exposure to extreme heat or cold, hard slaps to the face, threats with dogs, being placed in confined box and then filled with insects, and probably included water boarding were successfully implemented against the terrorists Lee and Ling. Clearly, such dangerous terrorists, when broken using the latest in enhanced interrogation techniques will confess to any crime you need them to in order to secure a conviction at a military tribunal.

At this time we are awaiting comment from former vice President Dick Cheney on the success of the interrogations of Ling and Lee, and how he feels these successes should bear on the policies of the Obama Administration.

*(Yes, this is entirely true. The United States, under George W. Bush, used these techniques which it learned from Communist China.)

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